His guts, his glory: Oyen staves off sour belly for win

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Zach Oyen stands between Miss Oktoberfest Carrie Nolan and Fest Master Dave Wesener.

A field of ten contestants tested their constitution against two pounds of sauerkraut during the first ever Prairie du Chien Oktoberfest sauerkraut eating contest. (Steve Van Kooten/Courier Press)

By Steve Van Kooten

 

Oktoberfest is known for several competitive events, including the keg toss, beer stein holding and hammerspiel, but this year the organizing committee brought a new event to Prairie du Chien: a sauerkraut eating contest.

At 2:30 p.m., ten contestants signed away any olfactory appeal they had and lined up behind a series of tables, where each received an aluminum container and two pounds of sauerkraut. They could not use any utensils or napkins, only their bare hands against the piles of fermented cabbage. It wasn’t a fair fight.

“The winner of this contest will be the one that leaves no ‘kraut behind,” the announcer said. “You must empty your container completely; that includes all of the juice.”

They couldn’t spill anything on the table, and they had to show the judges an empty container and an empty mouth.

The announcer continued, “Chew that, get it down and open your mouth; don’t be showing the judges a mouth full of sauerkraut.”

After nearly ten minutes, Zach Oyen emerged victorious based on a judge’s decision. Another contestant managed to finish before him; however, the judges ruled that he had spilled too much juice on the table and left scraps of cabbage in his container. Oyen presented a spotless container to the judges.

“Once I got a mouthful, it seemed a lot harder than I anticipated to get it kind of chewed up to where I could swallow it,” he said.

Unlike his competition, who frequently had to walk away from the table as they tried to inhale their portion as quickly as possible, Oyen employed the dependable Tortoise versus Hare method.

“I knew I didn’t want to go in super fast,” he said. “I ate some and got a feel for how much I could put in at one time, and I went from there.

“I’ve seen a lot of eating people doing contests on TikTok and stuff, and I think it’s more the slow and steady rather than trying to race it all in at once. I honestly thought I was way behind, but I tried not to look at anybody else while they were doing it.”

With his gorge-testing event out of the way, Oyen made history. He netted himself $100 and the honor of being the first eating contest winner in the Prairie du Chien Oktoberfest’s history.

When asked how his girlfriend felt about his performance, he said, “She’s questioning staying over tonight.”

That’s how the old saying goes: to the victor goes the spoils, and to his girlfriend goes the spoiled breath.

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